Check in with yourself first
There are so many relevant sayings about self-care here; you can’t pour from an empty vessel, put your oxygen mask on first, etc. The bottom line: if you feel a friend needs support, check in with yourself to see what you are capable of doing. Your only responsibility is to navigate these conversations with compassion for both yourself and your friend. If supporting someone else is leading you to neglect your own responsibilities in favor of the other person’s, you’re disrespecting your friend’s autonomy (see below) and you’re abandoning your own obligations, it may be time to draw a boundary. You are absolutely allowed to tell your friend, “I can’t help you with this anymore.” Protecting your own energy is a legitimate, healthy and positive choice.
Respect autonomy
The most respectful, responsible thing you can do is to create space for your friend to make their own decisions. Wanting to jump in, make decisions and be directive is a common instinct in folks who want to help their friends. However, this often takes away the autonomy of the person you’re trying to help. Your role is to be their friend, not a clinician.
Listen for understanding, not persuasion
No matter how much sense you make, how sure you are about what a friend should do, and how clearly and articulately you express your opinion—attempting to persuade a friend to do things your way disrespects their autonomy. When you’re sitting with someone, try to focus on really hearing what they’re saying rather than formulating a response. Reflect back to them what they say and make sure you really understand what they’re experiencing. A strategy for doing this is to avoid the word “but.” Not "You want to feel better but you don’t want to take medication,” which closes a door; instead, try “You want to feel better and you don't want to take medication,” which opens the door to what they might want to do.