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How often should I communicate with my daughter while she is abroad?
What if my daughter tells me she is unhappy after she has been abroad for a couple of weeks?
Can I visit my daughter while she is abroad?
How often should I communicate with my daughter while she is abroad?
This is a personal decision, but we recommend that before your daughter departs from home that you discuss with her the avenue of communication (email, telephone, etc.) and how often you both want to communicate.
Many families find that regular weekly or bi-weekly email communication works very well. Agreeing on a regular day of the week to communicate can help to keep you up to date on your daughter's activities without impinging on her need to explore her new environment and become acquainted with the people around her. It is very important for your daughter to spend time learning how to navigate around the city she is in so that she will know where to go for her necessary errands including bus and train stations, stores (for food, cell phones, etc.), medical care, the immigration office, and the list goes on.
Online video chats or online telephone conversations can be helpful in situations where you need to discuss something important together to reach a decision. Sometimes over-use of the web cam can lead to your daughter becoming more dependent on you instead of less dependent. It is helpful to remember that just because you can communicate daily through web cam with your daughter, doesn't mean that this amount of communication will actually help her plunge into her new situation. In fact, sometimes too much communication with home can cause the reverse: the student spends too much time on the computer, and not enough time exploring her new environment and focusing on new acquaintances. This can lead to increased isolation and diminished experiences which in turn can cause a significant downturn in her feelings about being in the study abroad location.
Some families are used to using cell phones to communicate often and rapidly within the U.S. Please bear in mind that depending on the country and region your daughter is heading to, cell phone communication may be readily available, but expensive. There is also chance cell phone connectivity may be spotty or even not available.
Make sure before your daughter leaves that you have the following:
• The email address she will be using while she is away
• A phone number where she can be reached (homestay family, dorm room, or cell phone). If this information isn't available before your daugther departs, or she is going to buy a cell phone or a new SIM card after arrival in the host country, have an agreement about when she is going to give you that telephone number
• The street address (including the street number or name/number of the building) of either the sponsoring program or the location where your daughter will be staying so that you can send her packages by airmail if necessary (warning: international courier rates (FedEx, DHL, UPS) are expensive)
• Make sure that you have the telephone/fax/email information for the program administrator overseas in case of an emergency
What if my daughter tells me that she is unhappy after she has been abroad for a couple of weeks?
Bear in mind that your daughter may initially report to you that she is unhappy with some aspect of the program or that she is depressed. We suggest that you exercise a degree of patience, as many of these issues sort themselves out in the first few weeks. Often, students call home in distress because of one issue or another, such as housing, the quality of the courses, or location of the program, which can lead to a discussion about changing housing, sending more money, or even dropping out of the program and returning home. While there can be real emergencies, most of the issues are the result "cultural adjustment" which is normal and should be overcome in a relatively short time. You can encourage your daughter to speak to the program staff on site and to reach out to the Office for International Study at Smith if problems seem to be continuing beyond a reasonable amount of time.
Can I visit my daughter while she is abroad?
We encourage you to consult the program dates and plan your travel after the program. It is not typical for families to visit students overseas, due to the high cost as well as job responsibilities. If you can afford to make a visit, it's best to do so when the program has finished so your daugther can show you around her new "home" at a time when she has no academic responsibilities. Smith students are not allowed to leave a program early; just like at Smith, each end of the semester or year is the important culmination of her academic experience.
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