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Domestic Violence is a Serious, Widespread Social
Problem.
Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over
another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of
violence. Battering happens when one person believes they are entitled to control
another.
Assault, Battering and Domestic Violence
are Crimes.
Battering Escalates: It often begins with behaviors like threats, name calling, violence
in the woman's presence (such as punching walls or ripping the telephone from the
wall), and damage to objects or pets. This may escalate to restraining, pushing,
pinching or slapping. The violence may increase to include punching, kicking, biting,
sexual assault, tripping and throwing. It may finally become life-threatening when
violent behavior includes the breaking of bones, choking and use of weapons.
Develop a safety plan that includes an escape
plan for you and your children should a violent incident occur. During and incident,
try to move away from an area or room where access to weapons might increase your
risk, such as the kitchen, or where you can be trapped or easily injured.
Call the police or leave the house as soon as possible
after an abusive incident. The police will respond and stay with you until you are
safe or in a safe place. The police will also help you seek medical treatment, if
needed.
Be alert when leaving the courthouse. If you have any
reason to believe your abuser may be waiting for you, please ask someone in the District
Attorney's Office or a Court Advocate to help. A police officer or a court officer
may be able to escort you to your car.
Guns or weapons will be ordered turned over to the police
by the judge, along with any license to carry the guns and firearms identification
card. Inform the police of any guns/weapons the abuser may keep in the house.
Consider changing the locks on your home. The judge
can order the abuser to turn over the keys to your home and/or your car. Keep an
extra set of keys in a safe place.
Inform your neighbors if a 209A Order is in place. Encourage
then to call the police if they see or suspect that something is wrong (on-campus
contact Campus Police at extension 800).
Make copies of important papers and keep then in a safe
place. Make a list of the things you need to take with you (birth/medical records,
marriage license, check/bank books, credit cards, medication.
Keep emergency money and extra clothes for yourself
and your children in a safe place or with someone you trust. Include a few toys and
favorite things for the children.
Keep victim's service agency telephone numbers handy
for emergency shelter and for support groups. You do not have to leave the abuser
or have a 209A Order to attend the support groups. Information and support in making
decisions are important.
Get medical attention as you may be injured much more
seriously than you realize. Go to a hospital, health services or your private doctor
as soon as possible for treatment. Ask for a copy of the treatment record.
Have pictures taken of your injuries and bruises at
the hospital, health services, police department, shelter or District Attorney's
Office.
Does Your Partner
- Act extremely jealous of others who pay attention to you, or use jealousy to
justify his/her actions?
- Control your finances, behavior and even whom you socialize with?
- Make you afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures like smashing things,
destroying your property or displaying weapons?
- Threaten to kill you or commit suicide?
- Make all the decisions?
- Stop you from seeing or talking to friends, family or limits your outside involvement?
- Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault or even deny doing it?
- Threatens to kill your pets?
- Puts you down in front of other people, humiliates you, plays mind games and
makes you feel as if you are crazy?
- Prevents you from getting or keeping a job?
- Takes your money or does not let you know about or have access to the family
income?
- Threatens to take the children away?
Do You
- Become quiet when he/she is around and feel afraid of making him/her angry?
- Cancel plans at the last minute?
- Stop seeing your friends and family members, becoming more and more isolated?
- Find yourself explaining bruises to family or friends?
- If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be involved in a relationship
that is physically, emotionally or sexually abusive.
You May be in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
if Your Partner:
- Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
- Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
- Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
- Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
- Does not want you to work.
- Controls finances or refuses to share money.
- Punishes you by withholding affection.
- Expects you to ask permission.
- Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
- Humiliates you in any way.
You May be in a Physically Abusive Relationship
if Your Partner Has Ever:
- Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
- Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
- Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
- Scared you by driving recklessly.
- Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
- Forced you to leave your home.
- Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
- Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
- Hurt your children.
- Used physical force in sexual situations.
- You May be in a Sexually Abusive Relationship if Your Partner:
- Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
- Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
- Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
- Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
- Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
- Held you down during sex.
- Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.
- Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
- Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
- Ignored your feelings regarding sex.
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Letter to Students
Safety Tips
Emergency
Medical
Services
Domestic
Violence
Rape
& Other
Sexual Assault
RAD:
Rape Aggression
Defense Training
Hate
Crimes
Identity
Theft
Cellular
Telephone
Safety
Sex
Offender
Registry
Related Links
Suggestions
for Protection |
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