"The sweatings and the fevers stop, the throat that was unsound is1. What I could not accept was how much space his body was taking with it: for instance, the space where I was standing, the dazed fluorescence of his hospital room where each night I watched him sleep. So this is the spine, I thought, this articulation of vertebral tumors, this rope of bulbous knots; tissue, I thought, as I studied his yellowing skin- tissue, like something that could tear. Afterward, I waited in the corridor. When I came back, he was alive and breathing. Here, let me rub your back, I said. Was it true what I'd heard, that the soul resides in breath? Was it true the body was mere transport? I untied the white strings that secured his pale blue hospital gown. The blue gown drifted from his shoulders. I rubbed his back. I rubbed his back. Not so hard, he said. I don't need to be burnished yet. From GHOST LETTERS (Alice James Books, 1994) |
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