Poems by Adrienne Su
There are those you wish for and never get, for various reasons.
There are those you don't want but accept, because they are persuasive.
And there are those you wish for and get,
Close in their unfamiliarity, unpredictable.
Whatever he says, whatever he orders in a restaurant,
You never know how a man is going to kiss,
And it is often worth finding out.p But half the time you end up angry
Or the object of his humiliated rage,
And you're sorry it all happened,
Sorry for everything
Except the death-defying moment
When you broke through the wall of not-touching
and you instantly knew
Not just the sort of lover he would be
But every person he ever was:
The lean adolescent, trying new boots.
The young man, snagging a shimmering bluefish.
The living man, this minute, feeling his way through the black universe.
From MIDDLE KINGDOM (Alice James Books, 1997)