Just Asking

to live to die to die to live to be to what? To know to then to now with
what? understanding.

we ask to seek to search to find to not to say you do to where to look
to read to hear to trust to pray to lose to ask to not be answered. and
if I should or not or if I must bleed to bend or if and then the gush
is not for sure and if or not if the bow is not promised anointing after
the curtain fall then should I not or must I then be clear, with who for
what and how? That should and could are not for sure and if or not if
means nothing anymore*to any of us*not now*not ever*well
then, the thought is this, if the thought of being well is just a thought
of being other than what you are but if the thought of being well is
just a thought of being what you are not then how to know it is a
thought that could bring a state of being if you have never been in that
state at all, having never been it? or if you think, well then, that being
well you once have been and for now are not then why the thought?
why not the state of being simply willed into the now, if not, then how
to know it is a thought that could bring a state of being, but if the
thought could very well will the state then the thought is this. could
the thought will the state and it is true that those who die all willed it
so because they did not think of being well then, or as far as that goes,
those who fail and those who fall, all willed it so by not being well
then or willing the state of being well, well then if they did, the
young, the old, the in-between, we would what to will or want
right away, that is life, and what not to will or want, that is death, and
if we did, so willed it so, then why the fear and why the fight and how
could we want what we do or will such so if the state of life and the
being of death are all inevitable, for one comes first and then the next,
the opposite is still a thought and not a fact, and still the state of being
well, must be a thought of being what we have never been, what none
of us really are, well then, how or why, could the thought ever be the
thing that wills the state, and is it true, at all, that those who live and
those who die all willed it so, or have I asked this before, and us who
say we want, we need, we must be well, is this what we really want or
do we know what to want, that is what we are not, some state of being
well then?


From PAGAN OPERETTA (Fly By Night Press, 1999)